Relaxation is who you are

While my yoga class shake-up was great for a day, on Sunday we were back to our old teacher, with her oms and her soothing voice and her inspiring stories and proverbs.  It sounds weird and all new-agey, but sometimes she says things that really resonate with me.

So here's Sunday's wisdom, courtesy of a Chinese proverb: Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.

Holy wow.  That completely makes sense.  When was the last time that you were tense doing something that you really love?  When was the last time that you were relaxed doing something that you didn't like but that you thought you should be doing?

Well, for me, the answer to both of those is I can't really remember, it's been a long time. As humans, we're meant to be in a state of relaxation. It's good for us. But in today's world, there's all sorts of pressure to be something else. Be something more. 

Prettier, thinner, smarter, faster. 

That's where the tension comes in. In the shoulds. 

Should can be a very powerful, destructive word. I use it way too often to berate myself (and probably others, too). 

I should eat and apple instead of cake. 

I should start doing work and stop reading the interwebs. 

I should go to the gym instead of sleeping in. 

Sure, it can be motivating, if used in the right way. But more often, I think it's harmful. And that's where the tension comes in. In should-ing ourselves to be something that we're not. 

We all just need to relax. Be who we are. Whether that's a free spirit or a power broker or a runner or a chef or an artist or whatever. 

Imagine how much more content we would all be if we allowed ourselves to be who we are, instead of who we think we should be. Imagine how much less tension there would be in the world. 

I'd love to say that I am who I am. That I'm totally relaxed because I have no shoulds. But I'm not. There are moments when I am, sure. When I'm outside on a warm day with the sun on my face. When I'm hiking or taking the dog for a walk. When I'm cooking. 

But those moments are relatively few and far between. I think the goal I to increase those moments. We're never going to be fully relaxed all the time. That's just not feasible, what with bosses and traffic and other people in our lives. 

But we can aim to seek out those moments of relaxation in any situation. I think that's the way to find out who we truly are.