I've run numerous 5K's, 10K's, and various length mud runs, and have logged plenty of miles on my own over the past few years. This year alone, I completed my first and second half marathons.
So, logic would dictate that next up for me would be a full marathon.
Except I have absolutely no interest in running a marathon.
Honestly, I really don't have much interest in running another half, although I'm sure that I'll be talked into it at some point in life.
But a full is another story altogether. I know that I should probably feel ashamed to even admit this out loud. A marathon is every runner's goal. When you start running, you run so that you can eventually run New York. And you dream about running Boston.
Maybe I'm a bad runner. Or maybe I lack the motivation that it takes to want those things.
But I know how I felt training for and running two half marathons. And I know how my body feels when I'm just running for fun or training for a 10K. And they're two totally different feelings. One is a feeling of strength and freedom and calm. The other is a feeling of dread and pain and loathing.
Can you guess which is which?
Running is hard on my body. I'm not the thinnest or fastest person, and I have bad knees (three ACL surgeries, two before I was a sophomore in high school), ankles that crack if I move them wrong, and tight hips that pop when I stand up (I'm like a bowl of Rice Krispies whenever I move). And plantar fasciitis that only gets progressively worse when I train for long distances.
Training to run 13.1 miles takes its toll on me.
And not only physically. It's mental too. It takes a lot to motivate myself to run 4 or 5 days in a week, especially when that means my beloved strength training will have to fall by the wayside. It takes even more effort if I have to do any of those runs on a treadmill. I am mentally incapable of running more than 3 miles on a treadmill at any given time.
So why would I subject myself to double that pain? Double that agony? Just to run double that distance? Just so that I can say I did?
I may not be the most self aware person in the world, but I know my shortcomings. I know where I need to draw the line. And running anything over 13.1 miles is one of them.
Heck, running anything over a 10K should really be where I draw that line.
But I have a habit of letting myself get talked into doing thing. Most of the time, they turn out to be fun. Most of the time.
And sure, running two halfs had its fun moments. Like the bagels at the end of the last half (who knew Cosi had such great bagels?).
But I will not let myself be talked into running a full. Now, never say never and all that good stuff. On the off chance that I ever did decide to run a marathon, it will be because its something that I want to do for myself. Because I feel like I'm capable of it.
Not because someone pressured me into doing it. Badgered me until I said yes just to get them to shut up. Somehow convinced me that it would be fun.
I'm a runner when I'm running regularly and I'm not a runner when I'm not running regularly. When I'm not a runner, I'm a weight lifter or a yogi or a Nike Training Club fanatic or an at-home fitness junky. And that's fine with me.
I don't need to always be a runner.
And I don't need to run 26.2 miles to be a runner.
Just lacing up my shoes and getting out there, for however long, makes me a runner. And when I get home and take my shoes off, I become many other things. Chef, office worker, sister, wife, dog mommy, strength trainer, burpee lover, outdoor junky.
26.2 miles aren't going to change that.
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