We (almost) didn't start the fire

Last weekend, my sister and I decided to haul out the fire pit that someone left at my dad's house a long time ago, get a fire going, roast some marshmallows and make s'mores (You're killing me, Smalls.) while drinking homemade chai lattes and looking at the stars through the telescope that I bought for my husband seven years ago and that has only been used twice.  Obviously, things didn't work out nearly as well as we planned. 

Spoiler alert: We started a fire.

I was tasked with doing the whole fire pit thing.  Having never been a girl scout nor having any particular mountain-man tendencies, I did what anybody would do in this situation.  I went outside to the shed, in the dark, with a Brooklyn Lantern (we have a penchant for buying As Seen on TV things in my family.  The Brooklyn Lantern is great in concept, but is actually kind of bulky and not really all that bright in real life), and hauled the fire pit into the middle of the yard. I grabbed some old tree branches that were piled up years ago, presumably for this very purpose, and which may have still been a little damp from the last time it rained.  I broke them apart, piled them and some newspaper in the pit, and lit it up.  

I figured I'd be saying "Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Society, I call this story the tale of Zeke the plumber" in no time. (I clearly don't know any scary stories.)

Not so much.  Apparently newspaper burns quick and bright and then nada.  We tried again.  Same thing.  My dad, who grew up in Brooklyn and Staten Island and was a Boy Scout for about two seconds, brought out some dry wood that he randomly had inside the house. We're still not really sure where he pulled that from.  We tried again with the dry wood, but it still didn't light.  I Googled "How to make a fire in a fire pit." We were about to give up when my dad started making fun of us for not being able to light a fire. 

That got me fired up (pun totally intended).  One last shot - this time with actual matches instead of those sissy little lighters (also, both lighters that we had ran out of lighter fluid.  Womp.).  Finally, the fire caught!  We were cooking now.  It was time to make the s'mores. 

(We ran out of milk so couldn't make the chai tea lattes until later.  But they were yummy when we finally did.  And, while we assembled the telescope, we didn't actually feel like reading the instructions on how to use it.  And it was cold outside.  So, that didn't happen.  So really, our grand plan kind of crashed and burned.)

As we were standing over the fire, roasting our marshmallows with too-short shish kabob skewers, burning our knuckles, we started to think of other, healthier, but still yummy things that you could make on a stick over a campfire. 

• Pineapple and watermelon.  People love to grill pineapple and watermelon, so why not roast them over the fire?  Just but sure to chunk up the pieces and put them securely on a skewer.  Maybe drizzle with a little maple syrup or honey once they're nice and toasty. 
• Cinnamon apples.  Cut the apples into pieces and sprinkle with some cinnamon.  Roast over the fire until the apples are nice and soft and smell delicious. Then bust out the vanilla ice cream and enjoy. (Or just eat.  No ice cream required.)
• Banana chunks.  You could roll them in some cinnamon and brown sugar, or use them instead of marshmallows on a s'more. You could also use Nutella or peanut butter instead of a chocolate bar if you want to get all fancy. 
• Bread.  Just chunk up some canned biscuits and put a blob on the end, like you would do with a marshmallow.  Roll in cinnamon and sugar and cook over the fire.  Or cook the bread and then dip in nut butter (or cookie butter)!  It's kind of like a make your own, piece-by-piece monkey bread. 
• Popcorn.  Ok, so you can't do this one on a skewer.  But get yourself some jiffy pop and a grate to put over the fire and you've got freshly popped popcorn in no time (hopefully while avoiding Drew Barrymore's fate in Scream).  You could probably also make this DIY-style with kernels, a pot, and some oil.  Then just season to your fancy.

I'm sure there are tons of other tried and true yummy and healthy options for nights around  the campfire.  Having only been to maybe three campfires in my life, my experience is limited to making s'mores and throwing paper towels on the fire and watching them disintegrate.  So tell me, what other yummy stuff have you made on a campfire (or, you know, a fire pit in your dad's backyard)?

Marshmallow skin. Almost as good as pudding skin.